Memo: On cursing and profanity
To: My children, employees, co-workers, friends, Romans, countrymen and myself
From: Sylvia Estrada Claudio, citizen of the civilized part of the Philippines
Now then, I must admit that I have erred in this matter and not very long ago. Profanity has become so common place these days that I too, fell into it.
My gym mates of 5 years ago will attest that when I began working out with them in what I felt was the most strenuous and downright painful set of movements ever known to woman, I did utter...well... profanity. Honestly, for an obese weakling it felt like torture and caused me to use very strong words. I must thank my gym mates for very gently calling me out on the matter. I did stop. But never really apologized. So if they read this – apologies!
Which brings me to the point about whether one should use profanity. One should. I wouldn’t say it is always wrong. But there is a proper time to do so. Usually this happens when one is in an extreme state of emotion such as when one is being tortured or watching someone being tortured. So the issue isn’t whether you can or can't use those words, it is a question of whether your extreme agitation is justified.
In my case, I admit that it was not justified to curse just because I felt physically miserable. After all the pain (extreme pain) and breathlessness (extreme breathlessness) was taken on willingly. The misery also partly came from insecurity because everyone else in the class was doing far more difficult levels of work and seemed to be actually enjoying themselves. Why, those, sonnamaguns!
Which leads me to my point about someone who curses when he or she is criticized. This kind of a person must be so insecure that even the slightest wound to the overweening ego is sufficient to get him all agitated. Thus, when certain people defend a certain person who now resides in Malacañan Palace by saying we are just too prissy and soft-hearted when we are upset by his profanity, I say, “Pooh”. He is the one who has a soft and cowardly heart if he curses all the time.
In any case, let us assume that most people do not lead lives of extreme agitation. Or rather, most normal people would not generally be thrown into extremis beyond the occasional blue moon. In fact, let us assume that high government officials, like say a president, who claims he is so beloved and respected, would rarely be in a situation where he could be so provoked.
Methinks therefore that when this certain president curses like a gutter-dweller, that it is because those around him probably treat him with great disrespect. Or maybe, given the unlikelihood of this, he has bats in the belfry.
Verbal nuclear bomb
We must reserve cursing for those rare times when we are really agitated. We must consider profanity as the verbal equivalent of a nuclear bomb. Bombs dirty, destroy, and diminish any discussion or exchange. Verbal nuclear bombs need to be reserved for those times when annihilation is immanent. It must be used in the hopes of signaling to the person that he must stop whatever egregious thing he or she is up to or physical blows will ensue.
If we keep throwing profanity about so that people begin to be inured to them, then what have we left when we really, really, really need to insult somebody?
Let me be clear, in places where we wish to get along well and not hurt others, we should always try not to resort to violence. Verbal violence, the psychological studies show, is violence nonetheless that affects all who hear whether they are the object of that cursing or not. There is really something whack about the normalization of verbal violence and the idea that when we wish to express strong condemnation we need to resort to physical violence like, for example, extrajudicial killings.
This is why there is a higher standard for government officials in terms of their use of language. Let us say that an ordinary person were to say to another ordinary person, “WTF, man!” We could anticipate that there will be fisticuffs. But when a person who the holds immense powers of the presidency begins to curse, he might call out the police and armed forces.
This is why we expect of our leaders that they not be so easily riled by criticism. Otherwise they might use the tremendous powers of their office to declare martial law in Mindanao, kill 20,000 people, or create false drug charges and illegally imprison a senator. It is kind of hard to believe a government that claims all these dire actions are taken with gravitas when they happen after someone emits extremely foul-smelling verbal diarrhea.
Please don’t come as you are
Did you notice also, dear reader, that cursing often is so discriminatory? Curses are often just descriptions of people who are marginalized. There should be nothing insulting about calling someone “bakla” (gay). There should be nothing insulting about pointing out someone’s race.
When women are called out for having vaginas for example, that should not be an insult because, well, women have vaginas. So curses like these reveal a mind that is not only abusive of the weak (so much for someone’s claim that he is a protector of the people) and unimaginative (so very unbecoming of someone who himself has no imagination to call the Chief Justice, “bobo”).
It also shows a large amount of selfishness when you want the entire nation to watch you have an emotional melt down. It behooves you to go to your room and come out only when you are again fit to be with others. Please sir, don’t be all over the place like that.
Indeed, indeed, indeed. Cursing does have an aura of authenticity. It shows raw emotion. It shows the man as he truly is. But if this is the true character of the man, I would prefer a little hypocrisy. I would prefer you hide the real you and stop cursing. It will be less embarrassing for all of us. – Rappler.com
Sylvia Estrada Claudio is a teacher. She is tired of telling children to turn off the TV whenever high government officials are speaking these days.